and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize