oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
