PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
ugly people sure do ruin things
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
