and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
As shirtless as possible
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
