Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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