my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
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