It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
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