You're completely useless in the revolution.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
