Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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