I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
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