I want to stick my p in your. b.
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
