It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
