you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize