I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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