Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
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