See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
