You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Randomize
