Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
