A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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