kristin has been a bad kristin
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize