And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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