"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
