Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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