Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
