maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Randomize
