I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
