Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
