My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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