Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
