Midget sex pt 2 tonight
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
