After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize