Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
