Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Randomize