I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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