Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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