I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
