I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
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