He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
