Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
