i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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