No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Randomize
