Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Randomize
