is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I need to sanitize my soul.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Randomize
