I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
