all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
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