like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
