Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
