I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
