U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
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