he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
