I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
