i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
