We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
