I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Randomize
