Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Randomize
