I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
