Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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