You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
