Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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