Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
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