Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
