what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
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