The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
