i wish peter jackson would direct porn
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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