i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize