I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Randomize
