I'm eating all of the evidence.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Dignity is for republicans.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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