Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
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