HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
The ass gains better be worth it
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize