He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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